Dead Inside

Whitewashed Tomb

This is a reflection on the Mass readings of the day.


Today’s readings seem to address two completely unrelated topics: Freeloading, and Hypocrisy.

St. Paul warns that people who want to freeload off the Christian community simply aren’t welcome. Sounds harsh–but, whereas giving to the needy is eminently Christian, allowing the lazy to take dishonest advantage of one’s kindness clearly is not, if we are to believe St. Paul.

In the today’s gospel, on the other hand, Jesus Christ upbraids the Pharisees for their hypocrisy, condemning their careful curation of outward appearance, even while they are full of evil, indeed, dead, inside. He prophesies that this evil hypocrisy will ultimately result in his own death, which paradoxically completes the story arc of the murder of the prophets throughout history, the same prophets the Pharisees claim to venerate.

Surely, these readings are unrelated. The Pharisees aren’t exactly lazy, per se; if nothing else, they are diligent about looking after their appearances. Whereas those about whom St. Paul warns the Christian community seem less hypocritical and more lackadaisical.

Upon closer look, however, what is it about saintly persons that causes them to be diligent and hard-working? On the other hand, what is it that causes them to be sincere and consistent between their outward appearance and their inward goodness? Is it their working on honesty/humility on the one hand, and diligence on the other, separately?

On the contrary, when a soul is filled with God, truly alive inside, that soul wants what is within them to shine out and be shared to the exterior; when a soul is filled with God, hard work appears less daunting and more desirable because it is a vehicle by which to share their internal joy with others–and the strain involved seems minor compared to the motivation in their hearts.

Now, it is true that some people have a stronger tendency to laziness, and others to vanity, or pride. The sin in one type of person may manifest more strongly in apathy, and in another, in boastfulness or scorn of neighbor. Since sin keeps us far from God, it makes sense in our spiritual lives to work hardest against the sin that afflicts us most.

But in the end, it is evil that is complex; God is simple. The more we fill ourselves with God and prioritize His friendship and will above other goods, the easier it will become to relativize and avoid sins that at first glance may seem insurmountable. In the end, while He requires effort from us, it is His overwhelmingly powerful grace, accessed through prayer and the sacraments, that will overcome all the complex manifestations of our sins–which so often, more than anything else, are but a manifestation of our emptiness of Him, our need for Him.

Today’s psalm tells us:

“Blessed are you who fear the LORD,
who walk in his ways!
For you shall eat the fruit of your handiwork;
blessed shall you be, and favored.”

It is God’s presence and grace that gives us the hope and motivation in “eating the fruit of our handiwork” that we need to motivate us to work hard; it is hope in His favor that will embolden us to leave aside pretense and show ourselves to the world as we truly are.

Ideas for conversation with the Lord: Dialogue with Jesus about the sins you find most pronounced, most ugly in yourself. Make a resolution with Him to fight against those sins in particular, without delay. But above all, ask Him to enter with His joy into those areas of your life, so that you no longer feel the desperate need for the fake satisfaction that the sin brings, and have the strength and courage to turn wholeheartedly to Him. Tell Him that you trust that His favor and friendship, as it manifests itself more and more fully, will be more than enough blessing and happiness in your life.

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Skimmer Bugs

Skimmer Bug

This is a reflection on the Mass readings of the day.


Too often in our spiritual life, we live the life of skimmer bugs, scooting around on the top of the water held together tenuously by molecular cohesion. We find ourselves disturbed by every ripple and wave, and focused only on what can be seen on the surface.

To put a dramatic but accurate point on it, this is the realm of Satan, the “world” dominated by the “prince of this world” of whom Jesus speaks (cf. Jn. 12:31, Jn. 16:11). Satan’s most effective tools dwell here–such as his technique of both dazzling and terrifying through appearances.

Both the first reading and Gospel passage from today caution against different manifestations of an excessively surface-focused, or superficial, attitude. St. Paul warns against the terror that can come from expectation of apocalyptic cataclysm, based on false signs or utterances. And the Gospel warns against efforts to appear good or holy, all the while neglecting the attitudes of the heart.

A different kind of superficiality can afflict us as well: The tendency to focus solely on exterior habits of virtue, while neglecting the deep transformation of our hearts. We think that by practicing this or that aspect of self-discipline or asceticism, the habit itself will work the transformation from the outside in. Then, as we inevitably stumble and fall, or fail to remain consistent in these habits, we become discouraged and consider our spiritual life a lost cause.

This discouragement, which comes from too superficial a notion of holiness, is another arrow in the devil’s quiver that he uses to take advantage of a soul with too much focus on the external surface of things.

Of course, working on our habits of virtue and working against habits of vice is critical for a healthy spiritual life, but this effort should be the flowering of a transformation that works from the inside out. And how does the transformation begin from the inside? Through the formation of the greatest habit of all: Real time dedicated daily to God in prayer, and frequent reception of the sacraments.

False outside-in transformation becomes real inside-out transformation by the very fact that we give God this time, even if our prayer time is filled with involuntary distractions, even if we do not sense any immediate fruit from our prayer. It is not magic. It is something far more powerful, beautiful, and mysterious than magic. Magic is impersonal. What occurs in our hearts, imperceptibly and almost in spite of ourselves, is the action of the protagonist of our spiritual lives, the Person of God Himself, God the Holy Spirit.

When we build our efforts to become better people on this solid bedrock, we little by little defeat superficiality in our lives, with its terrors and bedazzlements; little by little, we plunge deep into the heart of God. Little by little, we are less shaken by the absurd atrocities that occur in the world at the political level, by “wars and rumors of wars” (cf. Mt. 24:6).

And we come to the deep conviction that God, the Lord of our hearts and of all of history, has not only the story arc of the universe, but also that of our own spiritual growth well in hand. And we fall in love with Him.

Ideas for conversation with the Lord: Talk with Jesus about the things in your own life and in the broader world that frighten and perturb you. Ask Him if, despite surface appearances, He has them well in hand, and to help you to come to trust this, deeply and practically. Ask Him to transform you so that that things that most move His heart become those that move yours, instead of the superficial realities in life that at times seem so potent.

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