This is a reflection on the Mass readings of the day.
Blessed Carlo Acutis, the modern Catholic computer programmer with an especially deep devotion to the Eucharist, once said, “Sadness is looking at oneself, happiness is looking at God. Conversion is nothing but a movement of the eyes.”
A movement of the eyes. Jesus and St. Paul talk all about this in today’s readings. In the gospel, Jesus uses the circumstance he observes of people grabbing places of honor at a party to make this point. It is not wrong to wish to be honored. But we do not attain honor by exalting ourselves–rather, by taking the lowest place and working from there.
This is a huge irony that merits a moment’s consideration. On the one hand, Jesus actually encourages the quest for honor and greatness, by pointing out which approaches are effective in attaining it, and which are not. On the other hand, however, the means he points out for attaining greatness and honor is precisely NOT to appropriate it.
So, as we quest for true greatness and meaningful honor, how do we acquire the counterintuitive habit of looking to stay in the background? Blessed Carlo says it best. We do so by moving our eyes from ourselves–even though it is we ourselves who want to be happy–to the Person who actually makes us happy, Jesus Christ. If He is our joy, if our basis for personal security comes from Him and His love for us, we naturally want to see Him grow in our own and others’ estimation–our life becomes all about Him. And then, He takes care of the rest, including any need we have for honor and greatness. For one loving glance from Him confers more true greatness and honor than the adoring cheers of a crowd of thousands.
This is how St. Paul found His sense of personal greatness. On the one hand, in perfect line with today’s gospel, he considered himself the least of the apostles (1 Cor. 15:9). On the other hand, today we see that he is equally content with death or life, because “to me, life is Christ.” His eyes are on Christ, and so he has no complexes in his own regard. He doesn’t need to focus on building his own image.
When we fall in love with the divine greatness, the infinite mercy and tender providential care of Jesus, our own honor and greatness becomes a non-issue–a given. Because true greatness is neither a fruit of our own self-aggrandizing, nor even of our achievement. Like the theological virtues, it is a gift bestowed on us in the act of drawing near to Him who defines the stature of every created thing.
Ideas for conversation with the Lord: Take you eyes for a moment off your own sense of self-worth and achievement, and consider the worth of Jesus: “Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power and riches, wisdom and strength, honor and glory and blessing.” (Rev. 5:12). Consider Him glorified in Heaven for His divinity first of all, but also for His loving, merciful, sacrificial act of redemption. Then consider that, crazily, He respects you, even admires you as His Father’s great creation–even imperfect as you are. Consider that you need no other source of self-esteem. Adore Him for His greatness; thank Him for His love for you.
Follow the Author on Twitter:Follow @mvhaywilliams