This is a reflection on the Mass readings of the day.
The same St. Paul who gives us the first reading also wrote in his second letter to the same audience, “For you know the gracious act of our Lord Jesus Christ, that for your sake he became poor although he was rich, so that by his poverty you might become rich.”
Paul describes himself today as called to be a poor, homeless outcast for the enrichment of the Christian communities. There is no doubt that in his own calling, he seen an extension of the mission of Christ in this specific vein.
Have you ever felt as though you sacrificed in a big way for someone else’s benefit? Have you ever kept the sacrifice hidden or downplayed it so as not to mitigate the happiness of the beneficiary through some sort of sense of debt to you?
This noble approach can bring with it a further sacrifice of a sense of sadness, an unintentional, unwanted feeling of self-pity for not being recognized and loved in the way that you yourself are loving. Such self-pity is not really selfishness, as long as we do not cast passive-aggressive guilt on others with our words, but rather the normal human reaction to a perception that we give more love than we receive.
We hear it a bit in Paul’s words today. The Christian communities are benefiting, and he is paying the bill. He doesn’t reproach the Corinthians for this state of affairs, but rather leverages it to encourage them not to be proud and boastful, but mindful that there is nothing that they have that they have not received.
Even today’s gospel contains overtones of the same sort of dynamic. In the act of “owning” the Sabbath, Jesus is providing for his disciples’ needs. Yet He is the one who is taking the slander for it, one more plank of resentment to form the cross upon which He will ultimately hang. He provides, He pays the price, and the disciples as usual come across as a bit oblivious.
And then, let us look at His Heart in the moment when He ultimately pays that price. Hanging on the cross, He cries, “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” We could imagine Him paying the price from the position of infinite wealth and abundance from His position as Second Person of the Blessed Trinity. But no, as Paul says, He has become poor. Needy. Emotionally, existentially needy. He has wanted and accepted this–to lift us up, not from a position of strength, but of poverty and weakness.
A feeling of loneliness, particularly one of unrequited love or a sense of ingratitude from others, is not something to be shunned as selfish self-pity, but a state to be embraced as one of the most privileged states within which to unite ourselves to Christ. It is one of the realest, deepest ways to experience something of the depths of what He experienced for us on the cross.
When we feel lonely, in embracing this cross, we can offer it for those we love, perhaps especially those loved ones from whom we are feeling some sense of ingratitude, whether real or subjective, whether lasting or fleeting. This compounds the value of whatever sacrifice we have made for those we perceive as ungrateful, taking a mere earthly gesture of generosity on our part and conferring upon it resounding, eternal value.
Like the value in the economy of salvation of the sacrifices that Paul offered for the early Christians, which powered evangelization itself.
Ideas for conversation with the Lord: Think of moments of loneliness that you have experienced, especially those harder moments of loneliness that have cut deeper because they have been occasioned by those you love. Now, contemplate the depth of loneliness that Christ experienced on the cross: Abandonment, confusion, ingratitude from the intimates whom He has been shepherding for three years–but also, emotional distancing from His own Father, His all in all. Tell Him that you are happy to experience the loneliness that comes from love and generosity whenever He should wish to share with you this gift, to win grace for souls as He did. Tell Him that you are willing to become poor, that others may become rich in Him, and that you trust Him to take care of all your needs.
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